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Work vs. Life – How to Have it All Without Losing Your Mind

By Michelle Nichols

You don’t have to choose between your business and your family, but “balance” is not the answer

With the economy as challenging as it is right now, many people are tempted to put their families and the rest of their lives on the back burner while they focus on work. Tempting – but dangerous.

So what do Oprah and the rest of the media offer as a solution? Work-life “balance.” Yet when hard-working men and women try to focus on two goals at the same time – work and life – it can create stress, guilt and worry. This only makes the situation worse.

Not woo-woo. Work-life issues are not just feel-good, woo-woo blather. They directly impact the bottom-line results on both a corporate and personal level. Companies whose employees have smoother family and personal lives have higher productivity, safety, quality, wellness, attendance, key employee attraction and retention. These can all reduce expenses, without having to generate one more dollar of sales. Added together, they can add a powerful punch to profits.

Instead of balancing these two powerful forces, Michelle Nichols, work-life issue expert and author of the award-winning book, “Hug Your Kids Today! 5 Key Lessons for Every Working Parent,” recommends prioritizing them – putting “family/ life first and work a close second. “ This solution is easy and practical. If people live with their family, she suggests they hug their loved ones every day. This way, they can focus the rest of the day on having a happy, productive workday.

What if they don’t live with their family? Nichols suggests they hug or call someone special! If they live alone, they can hug a pet. The message, of course, is to actively connect to a loved one every day, to help balance the stresses of work and the demands of life.

Tough Lessons. How did Nichols come to this insight? Unfortunately, the hard way, from the school of very tough lessons. In July of 1998, the doctors thought her 8 ½- year old son, Mark, just had the flu. But it wasn’t the flu, and eleven days later, he died of brain cancer. He was smart, funny, and kind – and he didn’t live to start the fourth grade. She created a holiday – Global Hug Your Kids Day – and wrote a book to share her hard-won lessons and insights with other parents, employees, and employers.

There’s a famous saying, “When you lose, don’t lose the lesson too.” Here are five lessons that she learned about working and life that she shares in her book. They can help men and women of all ages, no matter what kind of family they have. Some of these lessons can help employees get along with their co-workers too.

1. Hug Your Family Today.  The feeling of love doesn’t really count for much. It’s when that love is put into action– by giving a hug, saying, “I love you,” giving a funny card or sending a text message – that really counts.

2. Carpe Kids (Seize What’s Positive About Their Kids and Family.) When things don’t turn out the way they planned, look for what’s positive and what the other party did right. Stuff happens. This is true for children as well as adults. Nichols advises people try to be a little less judgmental and a little more flexible. Besides, stress is bad for their hearts and can be fattening too. Remember, no statue has ever been put up to a critic.

3. When All Else Fails, Laugh. Nichols says that her dad used to say, when things go wrong, they can laugh or they can cry. It’s a choice. Humorist Erma Bombeck said, “If you can’t make it better, laugh at it.” Laughter can make the unbearable more bearable, at least until they can find a more permanent solution.

4. Develop Your Family’s Faith Life. Nichols doesn’t advocate any particular religion or faith, but when a family shares a faith, it’s like they’re all playing the same sport. Faith has helped many families get through difficult times and situations. It might help theirs too.

5. Hug Your Family Every Day. Hugging their family is like brushing their teeth – they need to do it every day. Just as brushing their teeth for half an hour once a month still won’t impress their dental hygienist, showing their love to their family only rarely but in a big way still doesn’t have the deep effect that daily hugs can produce.

These lessons work for all employees - and their employers. They’ll work for business titans on Wall Street and hourly workers on Main Street.

Business matters. Family matters. Life Matters. As Nichols advises, these powerful forces can’t be “balanced,” but they can be prioritized.

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© 2011 Michelle Nichols. All rights reserved.
Michelle Nichols is a cutting-edge thinker, author and speaker on work-life issues. She is also the founder of Global Hug Your Kids Day. Her award-winning book, Hug Your Kids Today! 5 Key Lessons for Every Working Parent, is available at Amazon.com and at her website. Formerly, she was the Savvy Selling columnist for BusinessWeek.com, a long-time sales professional, and a five-time entrepreneur. For more information: http://www.HugYourKidsDay.com or (775) 303-8201.

To make your job easier, we offer free press releases and articles on work-life balance and related topics. You are welcome to put them in your newsletter but PLEASE don't modify attribution. Thank you.